The Keener Way

 Sunday, June 9, 2024 was my third full day in Colorado and the midpoint of my trip. After Sunday, I would be closer to my departure than to my arrival.Which was sad. Sunday was actually two other things. First of all, it's our weekly observance of our Lord's resurrection. Our weekly reminder that if Yeshua had not been raised to life after He paid for our sins, there would be no hope in life. But because he rose from death and defeated the grave, we have ALL the hope in life. Secondly, Sunday happened to be my twenty-seventh birthday. It's been a long road to twenty-seven years. In some ways it's been a good life. In some ways, the road has at times been very dark and very broken.  I've survived two car wrecks, one near drowning, and several months of suicidal depression. I have owned four vehicles, worked five jobs (one of them twice), and watched the collapse of a cult. I've lived in two states, spent at least one or more nights in sixteen other states, and a...

   If it wasn't obvious from the fact I have a whole blog page dedicated to the former USMC backpack system, I love military surplus stuff. And when it gets cold enough that a hoodie is no longer sufficient, I can be found sporting some combination of the US Army's seven layer extreme cold weather system. How is this relevant to the topic today? Well, the jackets in this system have places to put Velcro patches. I love Velcro patches. I especially love patches that have funny, sarcastic, or witty remarks on them. So I always wear a couple on each jacket. So one Sunday this past winter, I showed up at church with a patch that said "Don't grow up, it's a trap". Which immediately caught the attention of one of my friends from my young adult group. (Yes, I'm calling you out on this. Yes, I know you are going to read this. Yes, you know who you are. :p ) I had it pointed out to me that Paul says, "when I was a child, I thought like a child...but when I was...

    In case I've never told you, Ted Dekker is one of my most favorite authors. His work is one of my primary inspirations within my own writing journey. And this week, I'm revisiting his Forgotten Way study. And let me tell you... WOW. I first went through it several years ago, and it impacted me to a degree at that point. But I was also way younger and way more immature. Now, especially with all the things the Lord has been teaching me over the last two years, Ted's insights are hitting me even harder.And that's just the intro chapter that I read yesterday night. Lemme quote you what he said. "The preeminent evidence shown by those who know the Father is this: love . And not just any love, but the unique kind that loves enemies, not only those who show us love in return. A love that is patient, showing no jealousy or arrogance, keeping no record of wrong, not seeking its own and not provoked by another's behavior." This is the powerful agape love that th...

     In a debate group that I am part of, the topic recently surfaced, if we are once saved, are we always saved. This immediately became a hot topic, with many members weighing in.      At first, while I had my leanings, I was undecided which side of the debate I adhered to. After all, why does it matter ultimately? We do well to live as though we could lose our salvation, according to Philippians 2:12, which says, "Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. "      But for the sake of argument, I spent the next several days pouring over scripture, trying to find any and all patterns of rejection and redemption. Do we have examples of known saved people rejecting and thus losing their salvation?      The reality is, we don't. We simply do not know the state of a man's heart. Only God knows. So if ...

  Hey, it's me again. I know, I know... Kinda overdue for a blog post. It's been like a month and a half. I guess I've been biding my time cuz I was waiting for inspiration to strike on what to write about. Then a very close sister of mine randomly suggested the parable of the prodigal son. The idea was very random. But as I thought on it, the idea grew on me. So here we go. The parable begins in Luke 15:11, and we've all heard it. A rich man has two sons. The younger demands his share of the inheritance, he goes to a far off place, and he wastes his money. Reduced to working a job feeding pigs, the son is so hungry that he starts craving the food that the pigs are eating. So he decides to go home and become a servant to his father, deciding that he is ill-suited to be a son. But what he finds is that his father has been waiting for him. The father welcomes the son and throws a feast. Now the older brother enters the story, upset that his selfish, wasteful brother is ge...

What do you think of when you think of a tree planted by rivers of water? Specifically in the context of Psalm 1? I always thought of it as big, strong, sturdy, unyielding to the wind and rain, with deep roots and a thick trunk, impervious, unmovable, solid. And I saw my own life as anything but that. August 2022 to August 2023 probably qualifies so far as the most uncertain, unstable consecutive twelve months of my life. A whole lot happened, enough that it felt like twelve years. I watched so many doors close on me. Doors to a couple different relationships. Doors to several different job opportunities. That twelve month period saw me move out of my parents' home in Maryland to take a job in Ohio. And then leave that job a mere four months later and move back home. That twelve month period saw my reputation challenged and scarred. That twelve month period saw me trying to make multiple decisions. And I wavered back and forth on those decisions like chaff blown around in the wind....

  Sometimes a moment comes in your life where you realize you're not as mentally healthy and put together as you thought you were. I've been going through a lot of that in the past couple weeks. Thinking back over a sizeable chunk of my childhood. Events that my brain classified as trauma, my personal experience with depression, as well as many decisions I've made that I'm not proud of, and how all these things have been affecting me even up to the present times. Guilt, shame, fear, and a hesitancy to take action on things, in a strange combination with a mild savior complex and an urge to try and control things that its not my place to control. Afraid to exist and take up space, yet constantly taking up space that isn't mine because of a paranoia that if I don't do it, bad things will happen. And it is a work in progress to figure out what "healthy" actually looks like. But in Abba's grace, I'll get there. But in light of this, I wanna share a...