Some Dreams Really Do Come True, Part 4

 Sunday, June 9, 2024 was my third full day in Colorado and the midpoint of my trip. After Sunday, I would be closer to my departure than to my arrival.Which was sad.

Sunday was actually two other things. First of all, it's our weekly observance of our Lord's resurrection. Our weekly reminder that if Yeshua had not been raised to life after He paid for our sins, there would be no hope in life. But because he rose from death and defeated the grave, we have ALL the hope in life.

Secondly, Sunday happened to be my twenty-seventh birthday.

It's been a long road to twenty-seven years. In some ways it's been a good life. In some ways, the road has at times been very dark and very broken. 

I've survived two car wrecks, one near drowning, and several months of suicidal depression. I have owned four vehicles, worked five jobs (one of them twice), and watched the collapse of a cult. I've lived in two states, spent at least one or more nights in sixteen other states, and at least driven through four more beyond that (22 out of 25 states, I'm almost halfway there!).

The Lord has walked me through multiple difficult situations. He shaped me from a stiff and stubborn lump of clay into a young man who strives to know the Father's heart. He has brought so many people into my life, and taken so many away.

I have long dreamed of beholding the Rocky Mountains, but never really thought I'd actually make it.

But there I stood, watching the sunrise light up the San Isabelle mountain range and absorbing how good my heavenly Father has been to me. And life was beautiful.

But it is hard to fathom sometimes why He has been so good to me. He didn't have to be. As the maker of morality, it doesn't matter how much I strive to know His heart; He could put me under condemnation anyway and be no less righteous. And He knows I would've deserved it, too.

It's difficult being twenty-seven. Not because being this age is hard in itself. But it is hard being this age and having so little accomplished for all my efforts. I've potentially lived a full 1/3rd of my life, and as one Imagine Dragons song goes, "twenty-seven years and I've got nothing to show".

It would be all too easy to identify with that song, to introduce myself as a zero. I find it hard to say the things I want to say the most. I struggle to find the balance in chaos. Some people are out on their own at eighteen. I'm way behind that mark. It is too easy to look at the world around me and see people who had more material success or more spiritual power or more anything to show for their age.

And yet, there has been no shortage of opportunities for me to meet my untimely demise before now. And I'm still here by the grace of Yahweh. And on my birthday, I was standing there, in Colorado, by the grace of Yahweh.

But enough of my morning's internal philosophical monologue. What did I do all day? What adventures did I go on?

***

Well, being Lord's Day, the first thing on the agenda was church. The friends I had gone all that way to visit were local to Pueblo, so I accompanied them to their home church. It just so happened to be one of their communion celebrations that week.

Now, ever since being delivered from suicidal depression, communion has generally hit me kind of hard. The emotional weight of realizing the sacrifice that Yeshua made. The weight of knowing all the stupidity of my past life is the reason He suffered. The weight of knowing how close I had come to trying to pay for my mistakes with my own blood. It almost always makes my eyes water. 

But there was something different about communion this day. Maybe it was my early morning contemplations. Maybe it was the dilemmas that I had stayed up late trying to solve the night before. But this day, the words of Isaiah 53:5 (and again in 1 Peter 2:24) echoed in my mind.

By His stripes, you are healed...

"He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. “By His stripes you are healed.” For “you were like sheep going astray,” but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls." ~1 Peter 2:24-25

It was a beautiful communion with my savior. It filled me with hope. It reminded me to trust the process, that the Lord was still at work in my life. In January, the word I picked for the year was 'sanctuary'. And on this Lord's Day, six months and eight days later, I knew I was in the sanctuary.

After church and lunch, I got treated to an amazing chocolate peanut butter cake. Those who know me well enough know I have a soft spot for peanut butter (kind of a massive inside joke at this point) and my Colorado friends were no exception.

The afternoon passed by very quickly, as the church's whole young adult group got together to play some games.

As the evening waned on and most of the party had left, my friends and I walked up the street to a nearby park, where they introduced me to the game of 'Groundies'. If you don't know what that is, it is difficult to explain without demonstration. But the premise is that the playground equipment was definitely being used in ways that the designers definitely were not intending. It was fabulous. And I promise no bones were broken in the process. 

We ended up playing till it was too dark to see the playground equipment. We laid on the grass and watched stars and contemplated life. But that was short-lived as a thick cloud cover rolled in and we started watching lightning.

Next thing we knew, we were walking back to my friends' house in a massive downpour that was flash-flooding the street. We were soaked. It was kinda cold. I'm sure we all looked like idiots, strolling casually down the flooded street, more wet than if we had gone swimming in our clothes. But sometimes moments like those are the moments most fondly remembered farther down life's road. Colorado doesn't get much rain. Why wouldn't we celebrate it?

So we finally got back to their house, freezing and looking like half-drowned mice. Several hot showers, a bundle of blankets, and a few mugs of tea later, we got back to being warm and dry, and we hung out in the living room till late, watching the maelstrom outside.

Bear in mind, I was staying in a tent all week. And bear in mind, one of my earlier posts pointed out that the campground access road went below the lake dam.

So I was mildly concerned that the flash flooding could possibly prevent me from reaching my campsite. But my friends insisted "don't even try to go back. Just wrap up in a blanket and crash the couch. It'll be fine."

And so that was that. The end of the day. And all things considered, I'm pretty sure it was one of my best birthdays ever.