2024 Sanctuary and 2025 Presence

 

 

Okay, so it is February now, and the Gregorian New Year's Day is a ways behind us. Though according to the lunar calendar of Jewish Torah, the first day of Nissan is on March 30 this year. And according to the Persian Hijri calendar, one of the most mathematically accurate solar calendars of all times, the new year is on the vernal equinox, which will fall on March 20 this year.

Which means that, either way, I still have a month and a half till the new year begins, because I like poking holes in Rome. Plus Persia had better mathematicians. But I will still refer to Gregorian dating for public communication for the sake of communication, even though it is less accurate.

 Anyway...

In 2024, I set 'Sanctuary' as my word of the year. In original etemology, this is defined as a sacred or holy place. Over time, the word became broadened to any place of refuge. So how did the year go for me in light of this?

The year started with a trip to Louisiana in January, where I spent a week in communion and fellowship with several of my very closest brothers and sisters in Christ. This was a refreshing and strengthening of my spiritual and mental well-being, which I definitely needed in advance of the rest of the year.

In March, the dairy farm where I was helping as a temporary winter laborer decided to offer me a permanent part time job, for a minimum of one year. This was a difficult decision. I was good at my work and I enjoyed it. But I really wanted to be advancing faster. I wanted to get out on my own, make a liveable wage, live in whatever state I wanted instead of being tied to the highly taxed communist country of Maryland.

But on Saint Patrick's Day, while attending a Rend Collective worship night, I felt the presence of the Lord calling me to stay. Tearfully, I sang along to the words of "Hallelujah Anyway".

Even if my daylight never dawns
Even if my breakthrough never comes
Even if I'll fight to bring You praise
Even if my dreams fall to the ground
Even if I'm lost, I know I'm found
Even if my heart will somehow say
Hallelujah anyway

Thus, I accepted the dairy farming job, on one condition. I had always dreamed of visiting the Rocky Mountains, but never acted on it, not having any travel companions. But several months prior, I had added a Coloradoan to my adoptive siblings circle, and now finally had an excuse to travel halfway across the country. So if I was going to stay on this dairy farm in Maryland, I needed a guaranteed time off in late spring to make the expedition.

After a few scheduling conflicts pushed my dates around a bit, the trip was concreted in for the second week of June. But then tragedy struck.

Memorial Day 2024, I attempted to take a left turn and my truck stopped turning left. It went off the road and up the tension wire of a telephone pole, rolling over on it's side.

I was supposed to be leaving for Colorado in a week, and I had just totaled my truck. I was devastated. But true to the modern definition of sanctuary, the Lord gave me refuge in the midst of calamity. My insurance company provided a rental car, and they ended up covering the rental cost for all but the last couple days of my trip, which I was able to afford out of pocket.

The trip itself had a few plot twists I hadn't calculated for. But it was amazing, and I have zero doubt that I was walking on holy ground in the presence of the Lord. The magnificent mountains blew my mind, the tall evergreen forests were gorgeous, I did so many adventures, I got to do them beside my very favorite people, and I very quickly assigned that week as the best six days of my entire life.

Coming back to Maryland, I spent the summer farming through a pretty bad flash drought. It was harsh, but we made it to cooler times. And mid August, I spent a few days at a retreat in Pennsylvania, connecting with friends I had made in Florida a year and a half prior.

Gratefully, after the harshness of summer, fall was absolutely gorgeous and the weather remained perfectly temperate well into late October. Which was wonderful, because in twenty-seven years, I've never really had a "best friend". I never attended or hosted sleepovers or brought playmates home from church or homeschool co-op. I've never gone on any of my exploring or adventuring with any companions. And only within the most recent five years have I built any actual friendships, mostly with other members of my former online writing community--who are scattered all over the country. But one of my long distance friends finally decided to come visit me for the last week of October. And the weather couldn't have been more perfect.

Heading into December/January, that's when "sanctuary" really got put to the test. More battles with anxiety and depression. More struggling to figure out how to make my way in the world. The dairy I worked for was now offering me a full-time position, but its hard to make liveable wage in farming, especially for someone like me who didn't grow up in the culture. Like so many other things in my life, I felt like farming was something I got into "too little, too late" to take it anywhere. And as of right now, that is still up in the air, but I'm learning be at peace with whatever the Lord ordains.

But overall, I would say 'sanctuary' is a fitting word. This year had some moments of standing on holy ground. It had some moments of feeling like I'm on top of the world. It had moments of a heightened understanding of my own emotional and mental wellbeing. And it also had some intense struggles, but the Lord remained my sanctuary through it all.

So what about the new year?

This year, I think the word is "Presence". And it only just came to me this morning, hence why I'm writing this in February.

But I felt like Abba was telling me, "this year, you need to learn to be present. Do not dwell on the prior and how you think it should have been. Do not dwell on the things of later and how you think they are supposed to go. Be mindful of later, and plan for it. Don't simply squander the things you need to be preparing for later, but dwell here, dwell in the now. Focus on the fact that now exists, and simply live in it."

So that's the plan.

I fully expect 2025 to be a worse chaos than what we've been seeing. We're about to go full throttle on the crazy train, and I don't know how this is going to end. But I will be here, working on being present, and living life one moment at a time.